Friday, June 29, 2007

I Fear I May Forget
I was channel surfing this afternoon and came across the movie "Stepmom" a great story of a young lady(Julia Roberts) learning to adapt to becoming a stepmother and dealing with the dying mother(Susan Sarandon). In a moving meeting of the minds Julia Roberts tells Susan that her greatest fear is the when the daughter gets married and the stepmother is making over her, wanting this to be a special moment between a mother and daughter, that the daughter will look at her and say, "I wish my Mom was here!", to which the mother replies, "My greatest fear is that she won't!" I'm not normally a crying type person, don't get too emotional about many things, but I have to admit every time I see that movie I tear a tear or two during that part. My father passed away November 1, 1994, he was my friend, I didn't always agree with him, understand him, I'm sure he could have somethings different, but he was my Dad. I hate Father's Day, get depressed as it approaches and am thankful that I don't preach on that day any longer, I miss him and it overwhelms me. What I struggle with the most is that there are days when it seems like yesterday he was calling me, and there are days when I start to pick up the phone to call him, I say to myself I need to tell him about something or ask him a question, and then I catch myself and remember he isn't there. It's the other days that bother me the most, that it's now been almost thirteen years and there are those other days when I don't think of him at all, when it's almost as if he was never there, like I've forgotten and I force myself to remember...I don't want to forget.

3 comments:

ruthrap said...

I know that feeling...missing my Dad too..he has been gone since 69...a long time, but some things I can remember like it was yesterday..we were best buddies and seems no-one can ever replace or fill the shoes of Dad..not then, not now...

Darrell said...

I hear you Neil. I did not have much time with my dad, as he died when I was only 5 and my mom died just 6 months later. I only have a few clear and distinct memories of them and I work very hard to hold on to them. They are dear to me. As to the missing him. Man... 42 years after my daddy died, I find myself more and more saying or thinking, "Man, I wish I could talk this over with my dad." I don't get to go to their graves very often because they are down in the boot heal of Missouri, but every time I do, I lose it. My wife and kids know to just go off and leave me alone for awhile until I get it all out of me. Hate to tell you this buddy, but it never gets any easier.

'Kizzie' said...

OK I will start this with a warning... grab a tissue box.

As you know, my grandma just passed. I am doing a music/video tribute to her and I found the perfect song... and I thought that I would share the song and the lyrics with you as it tells the story of our hearts for those whom we miss with every beat of our heart.



http://youtube.com/watch?v=zvhrPMJe8LE

Lyrics :

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now


**hugs**