Saturday, March 04, 2006

My heart is heavy this evening, I am overwhelmed and just need to ramble. Bishop George Gichana, Pastor of Praise Celebration Deliverance Church in Eldoret Kenya is with us this weekend. He is a powerful preacher, the pastor of a church of over 3000 people, and our covenant brother. He arrived yesterday, we have shopped and eaten, conversed, and eaten some more. This morning he attended our monthly worker's appreciation breakfast and shared briefly with our workers, we then accompanied our bus pastor on his bus route visitation, where Bishop Gichana encouraged the continuation of the ministry, prayed with us, and spoke into our lives...it was powerful! We took him to Busch Gardens, his rode his first and probably last, roller coaster, he thought we were trying to kill him...he only rode one...but it was the biggest...The Shiekra! He also sat weeping while I was in line buying his ticket, as he watched the multitudes of people filling the amusement park, seeking happiness he said, while their lives inwardly remain empty. I think what has overwhelmed me is that we have spent in one day nearly what many people in Kenya live on for one year. The average Kenyan earns 200-400 per year, I'm quite confident we dropped close to 200 today. It wasn't done for show or meant to be greedy, America is a different place than Kenya, we did nothing wrong...but what I also caught from this man of God is the statement while on the bus route, "I know why American pastors have such a difficult time building a church, there are too many options, distractions, serving God is not the priority!" These are not judgmental words, just the observations of one man to a friend, but truer words have never been spoken. We speak of revival in America, but it must not be inconvenient, start on time and be out by nine, speak exciting words that impart into my life, but don't get to close to where I really live, I'm comfortable there. Lay hands on me and prophesy, but don't require allot, I'm filled with too many responsibilities as it is....How the words of Joel fit in here, "Rend your hearts and not your garments...repent and return to the Lord with all of your hearts...who knows if the Lord may repent and leave behind a blessing!" I'm not trying to sound mean and realize that I have been in the presence of a man from another place...but I also know my heart...I'm too busy...too caught up with the stuff...I need to take the trash out! Pray for me please, that I will not ask God to change me until I am willing to change some things for myself...that I will have a greater sense of discernment and the ability to communicate the heart of God in the places I am being sent. As I write these words I realize that some read my words at places I go...please don't be afraid that I've gone nuts and that I will come to your place and impose my overwhelmedness on you...don't cancel me out...but pray that God will use me to share a word in season for the your church from His heart...not just fluff. I don't know about you but I'm weary of fluff...I really do desire a move of God, a relationship with Him, and to be used by the Holy Spirit in a manner that touches lives and makes a deposit of the Spirit wherever I go...There really is a place that some must enter in!

4 comments:

Exqsme said...

very convicting blog, and I needed it. Thank you for being open. And as I pray for you in this, pray for me also for the same, that I am willing to let go of some things and TRULY be changed... take on more of His image and leave my own behind.

The 6 Karns' said...

I think as the reality of God's coming draws closer - Christians in general are feeling a need to "clean house", to get rid of unnessesary things - physical and spiritual.

We live in a 1200 sq foot house (are finishing our basement to make it 2400), have 4 kids (age 1-8), 2 dogs (dalmation and pup Lab/retriver), and TONS & TONS of "stuff". WHY? It's overwhelming, depressing, and always in the way. Plus TV, Video games, etc., etc. And when do we spend family time? Only in front of the TV? Only if we're not cleaning our house? Only if there's TIME? When do we spend time with God? The one who has blessed us so much!

These are so heavy on my heart. I know Shawn & I are praying for you, Neil. And praying that our church in Galesburg will be open to receive what God is laying on your heart!

~ Amber

Neil said...

Thanks Karns, I was afraid I'm sounding either like a flake or one that has some hidden sin, neither of which are true...I like your house get cluttered and my time becomes filled with my own stuff and God gets put in the back room some time...I'm so busy doing His work that I don't have time for Him. I have a deep sense concerning our upcoming meeting, and again promise...I'm not a goofball...The Lord is doing something in His body, I want Him to doing in and through me!

Thanks for your prayers!

Sean McKee said...

You are so right. Lord help us all, starting with me!